Negotiating with Adults
Out, Safe & Respected
There are many reasons to meet with teachers, your principal and other school administrators about lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender and questioning (LGBTQ) students and related issues. You may want to start a GSA, participate in the Day of Silence or organize a “lunch and learn” program for other students and teachers who want to learn more about LGBTQ youth. You are the best judge of the climate at your school. You may want to start by talking with supportive teachers and building from there. Whenever possible, try to get another student or an adult ally to go with you to the meeting. Many schools have procedures for hearing complaints and some have designated hours set aside for students to voice their issues or concerns. Find out what the policies are at your school before you attempt to arrange a meeting.
Most schools also have guidelines for handling student requests to organize clubs, activities or events. If you are planning to host an event like the Day of Silence (a daylong vow of silence to recognize and protest discrimination against LGBTQ students) or a Diversity Day (a day devoted to educational activities around issues like race, class, sex, sexual orientation and gender identity), chances are you will have to get approval from your principal or other administrators. When considering a student’s request, a school must accommodate students’ constitutional rights. At the same time, the First Amendment allows schools to restrict speech that is lewd, vulgar, indecent, offensive or that disrupts the work of the school or the rights of others students. In advocating for a Day of Silence or Diversity Day, be sure to stress that these events are expressive activities, protected by the Constitution, and that they will not disrupt the learning process or interfere with other students’ constitutional rights.
The same principles apply when you are advocating for most LGBT rights and issues. Here are some other topics that might require a meeting with teachers and administrators:
Forming a gay-straight alliance at your school
Reporting any harassment or anti-LGBT incidents
Including sexual orientation or gender identity in your school’s non-discrimination policy
Having a training on homophobia or LGBT issues
How to structure the meeting
Introduce yourself and those who’ve come with you. Begin by stating who you are or what group you represent (i.e., a gay-straight alliance).
Briefly state the purpose of the meeting. It may help to keep each meeting focused on a specific event, activity or problem rather than putting a wide range of issues on the table.
Provide the necessary background. Explain how the event, activity or problem has been handled at other schools and anything in your school’s history that might support the event (for instance, if your school celebrates Women’s History Month, that’s a good precedent for celebrating LGBT History Month).
Present a clear and concise argument. Remember that your comments will be taken more seriously if you keep your tone professional and respectful and show that you’ve done your homework.
Listen to any feedback and/or initial responses. It’s important to understand your school’s position, whether administrators and teachers are eager to help you or not.
Suggest next steps. Try to schedule another meeting while you have everyone there and try to create a timeline for the school to make a decision.
Don’t forget to say thank you. Behaving with courtesy and respect will leave teachers and administrators thinking well of you.
