Meet the Couples
Say "I do" Again
These couples know how much marriage equality matters — they’re all married or planning to marry. They’re also speaking out for same-sex couples who are excluded from marriage in all but one American state. They know our society will never be truly equal until lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender people can make the same choices that other people make — including whether to marry.
Meet the couples spearheading Lambda Legal’s “I do” campaign. We hope you’ll join them by signing the “I do” pledge, spreading the word about the campaign and submitting a story yourself.
Susan Sommer and Stephen Warnke
“For us marriage is a profound commitment to support each other through the inevitable ups and downs of life. It’s also a way of telling the rest of the world that we intend to be together forever. When we told everyone we were getting married, it was a powerful and joyous time. Now, 18 years later, our marriage is central to our lives.
“Each of our ancestors came to this country at very different points in our history, but what they had in common is that they all were seeking liberty, freedom from discrimination and the freedom to be themselves and raise their families in safety. They, and we their descendents, have found this in America. To see some Americans still being denied basic freedoms goes against what we were each raised to believe matters most about our country.
“At the end of the day, denying marriage equality to same sex couples is just unfair. And that’s why we support marriage equality and why we hope you will join us and sign the ‘I do’ pledge and do everything you can to spread marriage equality throughout America. Please help us ensure that America lives up to its promise of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness for all Americans.”
Jeffrey Trachtman and Doris Reich
“We’ve been married more than 20 years. Every day, it matters for us to be able to say we’re married — at the doctor’s office, at our child’s school, at the bank, in social settings. Other titles — boyfriend, girlfriend, partner — just don't cut it. Running our lives and caring for our two kids would be much harder, in ways large and small, emotional and practical, if we weren’t married.
“But that’s what committed same-sex couples excluded from marriage face every day. We have gay friends and neighbors with relationships every bit as committed as ours, raising kids alongside ours, but without the legal protections or the automatic respect that married families receive. They have to worry whether their relationship will be respected in a medical emergency, jump through hoops to give their kids two legal parents, pay for legal documents to piece together rights married couples take for granted — the list goes on, and it’s just unfair.
“Everyone who believes in fairness and equality needs to stand up for marriage equality. Those who would exclude same-sex couples aren’t “defending” marriage — and certainly not our marriage. No good marriage could be threatened by other loving couples who want to make the same commitment. Marriage is “devalued” only by those who would keep it an exclusionary club.
Gail Goforth and Ward Simmons
“Celebrating our wedding with family and friends was a joyous occasion. It is our great good fortune to have found each other and to be able to spend the rest of our lives together. Sharing that with the people we love was an incredible experience.
“But we struggled with the choice to take advantage of a privilege not presently available to most same-sex couples. So when we did get married, we asked our friends and family to make a donation to Lambda Legal instead of buying us presents. Our wedding made a difference in the fight for marriage equality.
“Different-sex couples can make a big difference in the fight. One fun idea is to do what we did and ask people to give money through Lambda Legal’s gift registry. People can also commit to giving a regular contribution every year on their anniversary. That way you’re marking your own special day with a commitment to equality for everyone.
However you choose to support marriage equality, please choose to support it. No one should be denied the joy or the privilege of marriage.”
Sarah Wikstrom and Jay Schulze
“We’re very excited to be getting married next year. We live together, but for us this is a much bigger commitment, a way of declaring our intent to be together forever. What saddens us is that the moment we’re married we’ll have more rights and protections than same-sex couples who’ve been together for 20 or 30 years. We won’t have to fill out a lot of paperwork to make medical decisions for each other. If we have children, our family will automatically be recognized, and we’ll both be acknowledged as parents. And of course socially, everyone will know what our relationship is without long explanations.
“To deny same-sex couples all this, and so much more, is just not fair. It’s not what our country is supposed to be about. And it’s not something we’re prepared to tolerate. Marriage equality is important to us and we hope it is to other couples too. That’s why we’re signing the “I do” pledge and asking all our friends and family to do the same.”
Beverly and Clarence Bell Jr.
“We met in college and became friends before we were serious about each other. When you find that person who makes you feel special, cherished and truly loved, you will know it in your heart. The heart knows kindness and compassion very well. Those were the things that brought us together. We both have the capacity to forgive, and that’s what has been the secret to our success, along with respecting each other. We renewed our vows at 25 years, and God willing, will do it at the 50 year mark also. We know that we are not perfect partners, but we have matured together, raised a family and are now enjoying the fruits of our labor.
“We support same-sex marriages because it is an individual’s right to decide who they want to live their life with. Same-sex couples have the same feelings as different-sex couples and face the problems that come with all relationships. Why should they be denied the right to experience their life together as a couple and call it what it is — a marriage? We need to stop focusing on our fears and the need to legislate morals and values. Living in America is about having choices, not limiting or censoring those choices.”
